t’s at this point I want to say something. At the beginning of the first installment of this i called “Slade” a good friend. I stand by that, but this does not mean i think everything he has done is good, or that he is perfect. Quite frankly, he has done some terrible things, and beginning at age 10 they began to really take off. However, regardless of his past, he has become a good person. He has done some things that rank him among the most depraved of our society, however, he has made efforts to change and has been successful in his efforts, and regardless of my thoughts on the things he has done, I wont judge him for his past so long as he continues to be successful in his efforts to keep from being that person today. Many of you are going to disagree with me and some will most likely decide I am a bleeding heart with no spine or moral conscience for not condemning him, but I stand by my words. So, on with the tale.

By age 10 Slade was a very angry, very bitter and very lonely little boy. The only people in his life other than Wade were people who at every chance abused him, neglected him, or simply terrorized him. The very people who he had spent the last 3 years fighting back against in the only way he knew how. With his peers this as through violence and with his John, his step dad, this was through theft and destroying his property, which of course got him beaten worse. With his mother it was through pure rebellion and hatefulness as he had begun to blame her for all things bad in his life. After all, it was she who had brought John into the house, it was her who had chased James away, and it was her who had done all of it. She had become he focus point of his anger in life.

As for his little sister JoAnn? Well, being John’s daughter she was fair game to him. He made her life hell. Bullying her physically, mentally and emotionally. Doing everything he could to make her feel hated and afraid of him and at age 10 he went a step further. At age 10 Slade began molesting his little sister. I am not even going to try to understand how someone justifies this kind of behavior. The mind set that goes along with this is alien and incomprehendable to me, but somehow he made it ok to do this to her. You will have to excuse me if I do not have details, I was not interested in them, only the fact that it happened. He had found a way to get at JoAnn and to act out against John. JoAnn was an innocent victim of Slade’s misguided rage and bitterness. She was in the wrong place at the wrong time and not as a matter of choice. It was here that Slade went from being an angry bully to being an animal.

At age 11 there was a few significant things that occurred. First, there was another attempt to molest Slade made by an older girl who was known for beating up the boys in the neighborhood. She had cornered him at one point and tried to rape him, however, he was able to get away before it happened.

Second, John’s abuse became worse as the sever beatings with the belts became hands and feet. He now didn’t hesitate to punch or kick Slade . He was nothing but a punching bag for the drunk who was his step father. Slade says he remembers thinking that one day he was going to kill this person. He hated John with a passion and it was all redirected towards JoAnn.

The next significant thin g that happened to Slade occurred on a visit from James one day to his house. James had been over visiting and horse playing with Slade, wrestling around, and unintentionally hurt Slade. In that moment all of the hurt, the rejection, anger and sadness came out of Slade and he unthinkingly threw a punch at James. He didn’t even think about it. He just threw it. Well, he missed and James simply made fun of him for it. Slade immediately felt guilty ans ashamed of himself for daring to swing at James. After all, the man was a god and could do no wrong. He had swung at the one person in the world he loved and adored and who he wanted to impress. He felt embarrassed and shamed.

The third thing that happened this year was his mother had decided the family was going to move to Reno, Nevada to reunite with John, who had been gone for 2-3 months. John and Kaye had broke up a couple of months earlier and John had moved to Reno. Now, Kaye had decided to move with him and that meant the kids went also. Slade was not happy about this. He had only just got away from the tyrant and now they were going right back to the beatings, the yelling and the reaffirmations of failure thrown about by John. Slade’s anger at his mother grew yet again.

The move to Reno was completed without much to mention. However, once there it didn’t take Slade long to begin to have issues again. There were other kids in the apartment complex, and these were kids who did not know him or what he was about. Kids who did not have a clue as to how volatile he could be. They learned fast. At 11 years old it took Slade about 2 weeks before he was in his first fight and it was with a 16 year old kid. It wasn’t much and the other kid did not swing back really, but it made a point. Here was this kid who even though he was only 11, was big for his age and had shown he was not afraid of bigger, stronger people. The fights around the complex were few, but they happened and they made it known who and what Slade was.

One very significant thing happened wile living in these apartments for Slade. One wet day he had been screwing around and talking to the sons of this Hispanic family that lived in the apartments with his family. They were all aged from 13-18 and there were 4 of them. Well, being older and bigger the Hispanics were teasing and taunting Slade. The whole time his anger was building and he was reaching the blow up point. These kids were stronger, bigger and outnumbered him, but he knew it was coming. There came a point where he did blow up. Without thinking he threw a punch at the oldest of these kids. Now, the ground was wet and therefore very slippery, and in the process of trying to avoid the punch the big kid slipped in the mud and fell. The others seeing this began to taunt the oldest for being knocked down by a little kid. Slade, knowing what was coming if he stayed ran. The big Hispanic kid gave chase but by the time he got to the apartment Slade’s family lived in Slade had hidden himself in his mothers room. The big kid went into thee apartment and began looking for Slade. As he opened the door to Kaye and John’s room he found himself staring into the barrel of a rifle. Slade had found his step dad’s rifle and being afraid of being caught by the bigger kid had picked it up and was now aiming it at the bigger boys face. The bigger boy froze in his tracks and stared at the gun and at the little boy on the other end of it. He showed fear, he had no way of knowing that Slade was even more afraid than he was. After a few short, but seemingly long moments, thee other boy backed slowly out of the room and left the apartment. Slade quickly put the gun away and went to his own room and stayed there for a long while. Even now he will not own a gun due to this situation.

Life for him in the apartment complex changed after that. He now had a reputation for his guts and his willingness to become violent and do what it takes to defend himself. He was suddenly a very well treated individual in the apartments. His next issues was a fight at school where several kids were picking on the new kid and Slade hurt one of them fairly bad for it. The others made an attempt to get back at him but in the process of trying to gang up on him he beat up another of them and several kids from the apartments came to help him deal with the others. Again a point was made. People were beginning to see that he was not easily pushed around, now would he allow himself to be bullied. By the age of 12 he was already more battle tested than most people twice his age.

At 12 his family moved to Sun Valley. A small town about 5 miles outside of Reno that was really nothing more than a glorified trailer park in his words. It was one of those little towns in which people grew up rough and the alcohol and drugs flowed freely. Up until now Slade had only dealt with the middle class, wanna be tough kids and he found them to be easily tamed. In Sun Valley things were different and the kids not quite as soft.

Slade’s fist day in his new school he was in a fight. The other kid hit him in the mouth and ran for thee rest of it, but it made Slade look like the loser, and this did not set well with him. He would later get his revenge on the kid as “Russel” Would become friends with Wade and would be around the house a good deal of time. His next fight was only a few days after the first and it was a close one that Slade only won due to being bigger. However, he walked away with a black eye and he had only been given one of those from his step dad up to this point. His third fight he suffered the first loss he had experienced in the several years he had been fighting by this point. The other guy did not stand there and trade punches with him, he moved in and took it to the ground, Slade apparently was not a wrestler. Slade felt humiliated and embarrassed by thee loss. For thee first time in a few years he cried due to something not involved with John. The loss seemed to reinforce all of the negative things he felt about himself and that was hammered into him by John and James. Every time one of them called him a loser, or told him he would never amount to anything, or that he was a sissy all came back to him and assaulted his mind and self esteem ( Not that there was much of that to begin with). Slade was determined that this would never happen again, no matter what it took to guarantee it .Slade’s next fight he would hit the other kid with a weapon, as he would in the next and the one after that. He became quite ok with using sticks, bats and even took to carrying a knife. He did not like the feeling that came with losing and was going to assure it did not happen again. His fights had begun to take on a very savage feel to them. Instead of just beating the other person up he began beating them then kicking them while they were down, or using weapons, or humiliating them. Another thing that came out of thee first loss was that he began to focus on learning to actually fight instead of just throwing punches and hoping the hit. He became a big boxing fan and watched the fighters and learned how to move and how to tactically fight. He became angry when his mothers reply to his request to learn the martial arts was “No, that’s all I need with your temper is for you to learn that shit and go kill someone”. For the next year he would continue to fight and continue to evolve into a more and more violent person. It was also at this time that his fascination with death turned to a fascination with killing himself.

While in Reno/Sun Valley there were two more attempts to sexually abuse him again. One by an old man while he was selling papers on the corners for the local paper and the other by an older man who worked the local grocery store who he knew. Both attempt failed. He was not going to let that happen again either. He was sure of that.

When he turned 13 his family moved back to Oregon and Slade was not happy about this. He had actually managed to make a coupe of friends while in Reno and leaving them was a serious blow to his emotional state. The friends were misfits and outcasts whom he had defended against bullies and then took under his wing. All of the time he had been fighting two things were obvious. One, he took to those who were weak and unable to defend themselves from bullied. The “nerds” and the mentally disabled and such of society. He knew how it felt to be victimized and felt for those who were on the receiving end. The second thing was this, regardless of how violent he became he never hit a girl. Watching john beat his mother, hearing her cries for him to stop in the room next to his had left a bitter taste in his mouth concerning the beating of women. One that he admits gets him into trouble at times today. He has a very difficult time letting it go when men act aggressive towards their women and it gets him into issues.

He had been gone for two years and Oregon had not changed much. His fighting took up where it left off and it took no time flat for him to be involved in frequent fights with his peers and at one point an armed assault on a much older kid who had beat up Wade. During thee time he as in Reno thee sexual abuse towards JoAnn had continued and he had become very aggressive towards her. To the point of using force to get what he wanted at times. He had become a complete monster in all areas of his life. He hates life and was convinced it hated him. There was no one he cared to be around or to do things with other than his brother. Slade was at war with life and everyone and thing in it. He was miserable and hated his own existence. On February 5, 1985 Slade was arrested for thee molesting of his little sister and two cousins. John had walked in on him during one of the abuse periods and, were it not for Kaye, would probably have killed him.

Slade would spend the next three years in the juvenile justice system going through group homes and detention.


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