How to Save a Life.

Posted: August 7, 2011 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , ,

I am sad today. Sad and angry. Frustrated and hurt. I feel helpless. I have a friend who is going to slowly kill herself and i am powerless to help her. This friend is a wonderful person who is nonjudgmental, pretty, nice, and intelligent, but this person has some very significant issues .  This friend has an early stage Meth addiction. It is not a bad one as of yet, but i watch it as it gets worse. Her use of it as a way to escape her situation is drawing her deeper into it and i fear that at some point she will fall victim to it and it will destroy her. She is turning to prostitution to get the money for her drugs alcohol and gas for her minivan, in which she lives in at the moment. She is a sever co Dependant ( for more on this  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Codependency). She can not and will not survive on her own. She feels a sever loneliness that drives her into the arms of neglectful and inconsiderate persons. At one point she was with an individual who laughed and egged on friends who would sexually harass her and threaten physical harm to her. He up and just left one day for no reason leaving her alone again. another individual she was with didn’t care anything about her except that she had a car he could sleep in and he got half of the drugs and drink she prostituted for. The current person she is with also takes half of the drugs and such she gets, but i have been told he is also “whoring her out” to get the stuff. He is pimping her in other words. as a smaller woman who is homeless she is scared to be alone while on the streets so this also drives her to these individuals. Her extreme need to feel protected and safe is playing a decent sized part in all of the guy issues. when i talk to her she tells me she wants something better for herself, she wants to get on her feet and make a run at achieving better. She will tell you “I am better than this” and, knowing her personally, she is. However, a deep rooted lack of confidence and lack of trust in herself leaves her without thee strength and motivation to begin to take steps towards this goal. The addiction plays it’s part as well. She can not seem to find the strength to begin her journey into a healthier life. she is lost in this matter. As am i on how to help her. I have told her that when and if she is ever ready to try, i am and will be here for her. I will never turn my back on her or any friend for that matter, even if it pisses her off at me or makes her hate me for a bit. Her health and well being is more important than her feelings about my efforts. I have tried to make her see that it is possible to change and get out of this mess she is in, but not if she doesn’t take it seriously. I have been as supportive as i can be, but since she has been with the new guy we do not talk any more really. She see’s me and will smile a bit as she walks by, but she does not talk to me anymore as she once did. The new boyfriend keeps a constant eye on her and most likely is responsible for the lack of conversation. I feel afraid for her. I have wrote to Kitty Piercy about potentially getting her a parking place in which she would be away from the park she finds both her drugs at and her dirt bag boyfriends. I offered to try to get her to agree to no drugs, no druggie boyfriends in the parking space and at least one NA meeting a week to get and keep the parking place, but the mayor never replied to my request. I posted on my profile looking for some one who was willing to perhaps let her use their driveway or property as a parking place for her car and no one even gave a reply. You see, this friend is homeless and therefor has no value to anyone other than those who know her personally and wish to help her. I have considered going t the DA to see if he could help, but all they ever want is to incarcerate people and keep them locked up. My friend has no criminal record and i do not want to get her one. I consider the option of using violence to chase her boyfriend away so that at lest she is protected that way, but I am not so sure this would work and she would hate me if she ever found out. So what am i to do? She is getting worse and is spinning out of control and i am feeling miserably helpless as to how to help her save herself. This is what it is like to be homeless for some. EW

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